Ruffley

What is Ruffley? you ask, no it’s not a frill on a skirt or other piece of clothing, well not to me.

Ruffley is a word that I use to describe those times when I am not happy but not sad. Not grumpy or tired, just Ruffley.

I have used this term for some years now and it started when my husband took me out in his boat on the lake and it was calm when we left home and calm in the little bays all around the lake.

But we had to cross a big open stretch to get back to the boat ramp and the wind had whipped up the water and it was very bumpy or Ruffley on the way back.

I am not a good sailor at the best of times so this didn’t help me at all.

Ruffley then became the word that I use to describe me when I am feeling a loss of control.

I may have slept really well, I may have done something that I like but still feel Ruffley.

I may feel off for no reason, just Ruffley.

I feel out of control.

For me, that’s not a huge production, mostly I get quiet and don’t want to communicate. I hide away a bit and try to snap out of it.

Sometimes a good meditation will help or a call to a friend who gets me. Sometimes I just tell my husband, although, I don’t usually have to tell him as he knows the signs.

And he will do something nice and unexpected like take me for a drive.

Ruffley is just not, being yourself, for no particular reason.

I usually find it goes away if I fill my time with positive things and don’t sit and dwell too much.

But I do need to take time out from people mostly to sort myself out.

I pride myself on being a calm, in control woman and mostly I am but every now and then I find the Ruffley me making an appearance.

I have in the past written down what is bothering me, if I can pinpoint it. I then burn the piece of paper in a little ritual and as the smoke rises, I also let go of those issues.

But mostly Ruffley comes out of the blue with no rhyme or reason. I guess it’s just a time out for me.

Even though I feel a lack of control, I guess that being Ruffley gives me time to regroup. To stop, breathe and just wait awhile. Which we all need at times.

So if you feel, lack of control and just not quite yourself, maybe you are feeling Ruffley too. Take time for you, be grateful and Don’t worry, this too will pass.

Janice Ireland

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